||Are you Ready for some FOOTBALL?|
by Marcia Kardatzke
Yes, it’s that time of year again when Hank Jr. belts out
"ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL???!!!!..."
Personally, it seems a rather stupid thing to ask of 30 thousand fans sitting in a football stadium.
I mean, are they gonna get up and say, "Naw Hank... changed our minds... we’re gonna go watch golf, its much more exciting..."
but then perhaps Hank is just asking in general like a waitress would ask... "more coffee dear?" assuming that EVERYONE wants their cup filled, except for the pessimists who only ask for half a cup.
So while Hank is asserting who is ready for some FOOTBALL... ... .
at the Kardatzke house to get ready for some football... out comes the popcorn machine.
(a nice professional one like they use at the movies, a Bif the Kennel boy birthday present one year).
My goldens LOVE popcorn... When Mike (aka Bif the kennel boy) starts popping corn in the den Flyer is standing at the machine wagging his tail like crazy.
I have always trained my show puppies on popcorn form the time they were tiny. Teaches them to catch, to stand and stack and popcorn being low calorie doesn’t add a lot to their diet except for fiber.
Mewzik waits at the door opening, cursing the day she missed out on opposable thumbs so she could OPEN the door, grab a handful with her new thumbs and eat all she wants instead of WAITING like a DOG... ah well... poor little princess in a dog's body...
Myself, I only watch football when the Raiders are playing... Rest of the time I am in the computer room catching up on email, etc., etc.
Normally, unless they hear the popcorn machine going, the dogs are asleep by me... I think they know I "share" my food and if I am snacking they have a much better chance of a bite than the master of the house who’s favorite phrase is "I ain’t sharing" to the dogs.
So it seemed a rather odd thing that my devoted golden retrievers, always faithfully by my side LEFT my side this Monday every time Mike yelled TOUCH DOWN!!!!.
How weird I thought... .WHY oh WHY would the dogs care who made a touch down..????
I thought that perhaps since Mewzik came from Wisconsin; perhaps her Cheese head heritage was showing through and she was off to root with other fans who wore giant cheese hats... weird, definitely weird... dressing up like a pirate is NEAR the line, wearing a giant chunk of cheese on your head is definitely OVER the line... but I digress...
A few minutes later they would wander back into the computer room with me and again, faithful golden retriever companions would lie down by my chair... So comforting, so peaceful having dogs next to you...
...but then, again that yell TOUCH DOWN !!!! and off the dogs would run to the den... and again, a few minutes later they would be back at my side.
Well... always one to check out a mystery I went into the living room just as someone scored a touchdown...
Imagine my surprise, upon entering the den to see
MASTER OF THE HOUSE, (formerly Bif the kennel boy) yelled "TOUCHDOWN !!!" and throw... I mean THROW a whole bowl of popcorn into the air...
Popcorn was flying EVERYWHERE and Flyer and Mewzik were frantically trying to "out eat" each other as they scooped up each kernel off the carpet.
"For cryin out loud!" I yelled (being from the south we say phrases like this) "what in glory bee is going on?!!"
I had three surprised faces staring up at me... Bif the kennel boy (formerly master of the house) and two golden retrievers, Mewzik and Flyer...
Seems like the former "Master of the House" who has been demoted to "Master of the Den" celebrated a touchdown by throwing a full bowl of popcorn into the air for the dogs to catch and being good little Pavlovian students, every time they heard the word "touchdown" would run into the den, knowing they would get some great snacks scattered around the den floor.
I have made a "deal" with the three Amigos... Master of the Den will continue to do his "touchdown routine" during football season and Mistress of the house, aka Marcia will stop bathing the dogs every week because she thought they smelled like "popcorn" and needed a bath.
All for now... ...