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Cowboy Cactus Obituary

by Marcia Kardatzke


My last cowboy cactus died a horrible death this spring. He was accidentally drowned my a vicious automatic car washer machine.

As I pulled out of the car wash, the only thing left on my antenna was his little purple cowboy hat.

Horrified, I quickly jumped out of the Excursion, looked back into the car wash to see Cowboy cactus, lying on the car wash floor, minus his oh so tasteful purple cowboy hat.

"Leave me...leave me!!!" he said, "It's too late for me...." as he slowly whirled down the car wash drain.

I watched horrified as my little rubber cowboy cactus antenna topper died a horrible drowning death in the car wash.

I had nightmares for weeks.

I kept his little purple cowboy hat (the only thing left after the ten dollar super car wash and wax) for months and sadly remembered all the good times we had.

Cowboy Cactus, a misplaced antenna decoration in the wilds of Alaska.

Little cowboy cactus, his little face and sunglasses all covered in snow in the winter, but still his little cowboy cactus arms held up through it all.

You could tell summers were his favorite though... His little face almost seemed to smile when the sun shown... no doubt a reminder of his Arizona birth.

He on his noble steed on the Excursion..... a maroon metal stallion of the highest calling. Noone rode higher than Cowboy Cactus...

He was a prickly little guy and tough....even when my dearest friend Danette would malign him.... "Tacky, tacky, TACKY" she would say.... "how could you POSSIBLY have something so TACKY on your car???!!!!"

But Cowboy Cactus held his head up high...and so did the Excursion driver...SHE said, "it's only tacky if you THINK it's tasteful. If you KNOW its tacky, it's not."

The Excursion driver has been without her dear friend for the whole summer.

Now with a quick trip to Arizona this week, she was wandering around Walgreen's and LO AND BEHOLD!!!! ANOTHER COWBOY CACTUS!!!!! There he was.... Could have BEEN HIS TWIN....!!!! OMG!!!

Same purple hat, same rubber cactus arms....pink sunglasses (we are not sure if cowboy is a he...a she...or a he/she.....this is the don't ask, don't tell Cactus)

So tomorrow....The NEW and improved Cowboy Cactus will go up on the Excursion antenna...

I know all my dear friends will be so envious of me......but hey....get your own cowboy cactus, this one is mine....

Not so sincerely,

Marcia Kardatzke
AileronGR@alaska.net

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